Cherish and Tony's Adventures: February 2015

This month has been a whole new world with Bridget. She's become so much calmer, happier, and fun to be around. She smiles a ton, at least to people she's familiar with, and has begun her cooing/squealing stage. It's pretty darn adorable. She's also constantly rolling everywhere (front to back and back to front) so it's never completely safe to leave her sleeping on the bed. We have found her twice with her legs dangling off the bed because she rolled more than twice in her sleep. I'm grateful for pillows acting like bumpers and, yes, we're using them all the time now.

She has found her voice over the past month. If there's something she wants to say, she will say it and talk about it for about 10 minutes. Not quietly either, mind you. Sometimes she interrupts Tony's studying. I find the talking adorable, but apparently so does he, so he comes in to talk and listen to her.

She has also found her feet and has even held a toe once or twice. She's been putting everything and anything in her mouth except her feet though- she hasn't figured that one out yet. It's totally normal to walk in on her pulled up like a pill bug though. Maybe in the next month she'll start working on her flexibility.

What is normal anymore? I was thinking about that the other day while reading Facebook statuses. On the new and improved Facebook, you can add what you're feeling at the time of your status. But why only one?? Maybe it's a girl thing, but you can feel so many emotions all at the same time. While trying to debate my own feelings, I honestly could not decide between homesick, lonely, or content. Is it bad that all of those run together now? I'm content being here on the island now, even though I'm constantly feeling lonely or homesick. They are feelings that don't leave. I think family and friends are the biggest reason. It breaks my heart to know that nearly all of our family will only see Bridget when she's 7 months old, and then MAYBE when she's a year and a half. Who knows after that. They probably won't see her first crawls, first teeth, first steps, first falls, or first pigtails. They're missing so much.

It's hard to have friends here just because it's all temporary. Every one leaves after two years and each goes to their own corner of the country. Supposedly you become really close to people here because you always spend time with them. I've only experienced that with one girl here, and even then it's limited. I know a lot of it is my fault too. I don't go out to many social events. I hold grudges. I get scared of Bridget crying or people judging me. And I even use the excuse of not wanting to walk or drive the car in the blazing heat. Excuses? Yes. I own them. But I feel like I have made a bit of an effort as well. Some days I feel hopeful and happy about the limited friendships I have attained. Other days I see the pathetic quality (not even quantity) that I do have. Those days are the worst- they just make me want to lock myself in a tower for years on end and become the number one subscriber to the Hollywood Insider. Being an introvert sucks sometimes. Other times, like today, I'm feeling content, warm, reflective, and determined to be supportive of Tony doing well. Really, everything just depends on the day, but when you don't have very much to do, you have too much time to think about how you're feeling.

So back to the original question: What is normal? On and off days are normal. Scorching sun, blue skies, and a light breeze are normal. Having a car in mostly working order is normal. Always having enough food for us and to help others is normal (we're feeding both sets of Missionaries once a week and definitely are being blessed). Bear being a playful hairball is normal. And so having loving family back home. I cannot tell you how much of a comfort it is to know you can call your mom, dad, brother, sister, or in-laws at any time and know they love you. I think that's what makes me the most homesick.

Normal is also having a supportive, loving, hard-working husband. Tony has been my rock since the beginning, but even more so now. Best friend, husband, confidant, cheerleader, mentor, cook, and best daddy in the world. Is there a role he can't fill? Probably only lactating mom, but I can't really fill that either haha.

Friday, February 13th, Tony performed with his Improv Comedy Club on campus and killed it. They all did a wonderful job and really highlighted each others' strengths. Tony was one of the favorites of the night when he flaunted his awkwardness and funny voices. I was so proud of him and the rest of the club for bringing others the smile that they need. I know that's why I go to their practices; I am one who needs to smile more.

With all of these doubts of belonging here I've been thinking of throwing in the towel and just going home indefinitely. Tony and I had spent a little over an entire month apart wile I was student teaching in China and it was absolutely awful. I don't think all my problems will go away if I were to go back home, but I do think quite a few would. It would also make new problems surface. I'm giving it my all to stay here though. We've decided I have to really, really try to make it work here. I'm going to try this plan where I "do something every day." That means I have to get out of the house and go somewhere. Here's my plan thus far:
Sunday: Church
Monday: Pool
Tuesday: Grocery shopping
Wednesday: Improv Club
Thursday: Pool and Institute (yes we're still teaching it even though we were told it'd be temporary)
Friday: ...
Saturday: ...
You can see my plan needs work. I'm sure I could easily convince Tony to go to the beach with me on Saturdays but I don't want to have it scheduled in. The beach is just so sandy haha. But I really am going to try and find something to do every day. I hope to make more/better friends. I hope to begin being more optimistic. And I hope that I can find the good in staying here.

Earlier this month we went to secret beach again :)

Bridget did get her first tooth on Friday the 13th! The best part is that it's not one of the canines! Her front, bottom-right came through. We actually noticed her tongue first. I saw a small black spot on the end of the tongue and it wasn't coming off. This past Wednesday I had had two friends come over and we made baby footprint Valentines that turned out oh so cute. However, during that time I had given her a Sharpie to hold. I had worried that maybe she had sucked on the actual marker and somehow I hadn't noticed it all Wednesday and Thursday. Turns out, she's been messing with that little tooth enough to create an indent and (what seems like) little bruise on the tip of her tongue. Naturally, getting a picture of this is impossible, so you'll just have to take my word on it.

The other night she slept through the ENTIRE night. Like from 10 pm - 8 am. It was actually kind of scary. The alarm went off at 6 and I sat upright and asked Tony if he had fed her during the night. I couldn't imagine not waking up to her tossing and turning, but she had slept like a rock the entire night! Tony checked to make sure she was breathing when he turned off the alarm. Anxious to see how long she would last I went back to sleep too until 8. Oh, did I mention she's sleeping in her own bed now? It's so much nicer for Tony and I- I can actually roll over when I want to instead of trying to maneuver in a spy-like manner. And Tony can sleep without his arm falling asleep from being under her head! Since I'm getting this blog post up so late, I figured I'd let you know that she has continued this trend. Sure, there are some nights where it's not as long of a sleep, but most of the time she's a great night-time sleeper!

We also dunked her for the first time after Tony's unifieds. I dunked her twice then Tony dunked her twice. She cried both times with me and only partially cried with Tony. She'll get used to it, but it's just sad till then. She is beginning to enjoy the pool a bit more though! She'll be a water baby in no time (hopefully).

This past month we also had a fellow SO (Significant Other) take pictures of Bridget to build her photography portfolio. She hopes to photograph Bridget throughout the time we're here, so next photo shoot will be around 6 months. Kim set up backdrops here in our own house and spent probably half an hour total to get these cute pictures. Bridget handled it really well, I just wish she had smiled a bit more. Oh well, I'm sure 6 months will be even cuter.