Anxiously Awaiting

Today is week 39... out of 40... still no sign of the little one. I swear we can specifically see her foot when she's trying to bust through though. We had been told multiple times that babies often come early here because of the intense heat and I had to audacity to believe it. We've got a stubborn one on our hands- I wonder which side she gets it from. Both probably. I just hope she doesn't wait an extra 2 weeks like Tony. Everyone is always asking "How are you feeling? Have you had any contractions yet?" In case you're wondering at home, I feel large and often warm.Other than that, just fine. And obviously I haven't had contractions. Do you see me in labor yet? I've had swelling only once during my entire pregnancy- it was last Tuesday when I ate quite a few homemade pretzels. I shouldn't have eaten somewhere near 20 pretzels, but I did and I loved it. I didn't get the low-quality cheese sauce to go along with them, but I was quite happy with some marinara sauce... weird I know, but I liked it. I had brought home the pretzels to split with Tony, but he ate maybe three and said he wanted me to have the rest because he knows how much I've been wanting them (the best husband, right?!) Also, in the picture you see some rolls. I made those! I've never made homemade bread of any kind before and I made those! It rained a lot last Tuesday making the air nice and cool. My friend Katie and I had a baking day to celebrate. She made the pretzels, I made the rolls and we split the spoils. I also made loaded baked potatoes for dinner! It had been a good day.

Have I mentioned how lucky I am to have Tony? He has been with me to every baby doctor appointment and tries to study at home as much as he can so that he can be around physically, even if it's mentally. Compared to other wives, I see my husband 3x as much as they do. I know it won't be like this for every semester, but I sure do appreciate it during this trying and uncertain first few months. Monday night he wanted me to cornrow his hair. This was my attempt. I didn't pull his hair very hard, nor did I make the rows very small, so the style didn't hold more than 20 minutes with the fan blowing on it haha.

Thursday I went to pool for four hours and told Tony I would do the dishes when I came back- it had been a hot morning and I needed to cool down. He stayed home to study (like usual) and then left for class before I came home. When I arrived, I found this in the sink. I'm the luckiest, right?













Wednesday nights are really fun because Tony is part of the SGU Improve Comedy Club. It's run by one of our LDS friends and it's basically a live version of Whose Line is it Anyway? Tony is really good at it. He's always been a smart-a$$ and comes up with quick jokes, so this is a great place that lets him show case his talent. I think it's really good for him too because for two hours every week, he gets to just have fun and not think about anything medical. I accompany him every week and I enjoy watching the players and laughing. I gave it a try once or twice, but I'm not the improv type. I do get to enjoy an A/C room during practice time too! They'll be having a show in October, so my mom will be able to come and watch.

The kid on the floor, Mike, was an old lady. Tony, the gold digger CNA, had pushed her over.

On a random note, Tony wanted to share how we decorate our house. Tony loves how our house is always adorning hanging swimsuits.

Here are some projects I've tackled recently. There was a girl down here that celebrated her 30th birthday so I helped coordinate and throw her a 30th birthday party. It was supposed to be at the beach, but it got rained out. We still celebrated a little in the nearby pavillion. These are the "dirty 30" cupcakes I had made: chocolate cupcakes with a little layer of chocolate frosting, crushed Tea Times (cookies that mimic Oreos) and a gummy worm on top.

A really long time ago I found this super cute idea on Pinterest to make a seashell tiara for the baby. It took a while to collect the shells and necessary wire and headbands, but this last week I finally finished gathering everything. Originally I had wanted it perfectly symmetrical but I had to accept that nature doesn't do that. The finished project looks pretty cool, but I feel it's a little too tall. It's very sturdy so it doesn't collapse, but I'm just unsure how it'll be for a baby. Bear modeled it well though. My favorite part of the whole thing: a whole clam shell I found on Secret Beach- like still in tact!

 You may notice Bear looking a little naked in the above picture. We gave him his shortest-ever haircut this morning. He hates it. And I'm pretty sure we shaved another whole dog from him.

Priorities

I don't get to post much anymore, but I wanted to take a few minutes and just note down my version of what happened at Cherish's baby appointment the other day. 

At the appointments they always take Cherish in and check her weight and blood pressure, but they make me wait outside the door. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it's some weird Grenada thing where they don't want the dad to know how much weight his wife has gained? Either way, I wait outside. In the hallway where I wait there is no ventilation. The waiting room isn't terrible, but the hallway is. While I wait I study. On Thursday, when the lady finally came to let me in I was hurrying because she is grumpy and I didn't want her being all rude about me putting my stuff away. Shortly after that I dropped my computer.

 I played it off cool in front of Cher, but I was SOOOO mad! I haven't been that mad in a long time! I am always so careful with my computer. I still remember when it got its first scratch and how upset I was. With the screen completely shattered I was furious. Cher came in and started crying and I played it off again like it was nothing, but inside I was fuming.

When the Dr finally came in we went in to see the baby. As soon as he put the fetal doppler up to Cher's abdomen I felt my anger completely disappear. The Lord opened my eyes and showed me what was really important. Sure I dropped my 900 dollar computer, but who cares?! Its just money. My wife and my baby girl, that is what really matters!

Ever since that day I haven't looked at anything the same. Yeah school is still hard and I have way more to do than I have time for, but what really matters is my family and I am making time for that. Mom and Dad, don't worry I am still studying, but now I study with perspective.

Mistakes

We went to the baby doctor today. It was bloody hot with no wind. Stagnant and unforgiving. We also gave a ride to the other pregnant girl, Tessa since she didn't want to go alone- Mistake #1. We arrived to be patients number 2 and 3 instead of 1st, thus making our visit even longer. We arrived at 7, entered at 8, and then I was not seen until 10:15 (being patient #3).

Mistake #2: As Tony and I were finally entering the air conditioned room, Tony dropped his computer. The screen shattered. It doesn't recognize touch anymore. It now has to be connected to the keyboard all the time. At least it turned on. The shattered glass would have completely fallen out had it not been for the screen protector.

The appointment went well. At 37 weeks I'm at 138 lbs now- I knew I had gained at least a pound over the past 2 weeks haha. Blood pressure low, the baby active with a heart rate between 130 and 145 which is perfectly healthy, and she hasn't quite engaged yet. Mistake #3: getting our hopes up that the baby would be coming soon. She's going to wait out all 40 weeks I feel. I have been feeling more hurting-type pains down there, but she's just biding her time. The other night I had become really excited because I actually woke up with pain. Yeah, not worth anything.

Once we returned home, we found Mistake #4: we didn't bring the Best Buy receipt with us to the island, thinking we can't even use it here. It's true, we can't but we could send the numbers in and see what they would suggest.

Mistake #5: The receipt is in an undisclosed box in Tony's parents' garage. If we need to find it, it probably won't happen for a while. This was entirely my fault. I knew I should have labeled where the receipts box was.

This has been a disheartening morning. I cried when I saw the damage that happened to Tony's computer. I thought it had been my fault but it was just an accident where his hand slipped. It breaks my heart knowing we prepared and saved for the perfect computer and it breaks within the first month of school. It had worked perfectly and Tony loved it. Now it's almost pointless that we even bought it. The worst part is he has been so so so so careful with it until today. He always took extra time to put it away, cover it, and protect it. The one time he didn't, it slipped. He blames himself. I blame Grenada. This stupid country is so bloody hot and nobody believes in air conditioning or fans. It's only Americans who use fans on themselves and we're the only ones who complain about no A/C. Tony was warm waiting in the stupid waiting room and figured he could just carry it to the room. Had there been even a fan going he may not have felt so rushed to make me more comfortable.

I worry it was a mistake coming down to this third world country. Tony believes it hasn't been a mistake. I know he's already learned so much, I just have become extremely bitter since the move. I feel bitter toward anyone who gets to experience the sweet, delightful changing of seasons. I feel bitter toward anyone living in the US. I feel bitter toward anyone who can afford to run their A/C every night. I feel bitter toward any country that has a Walmart or McDonalds. I feel bitter toward people that have made close friendships down here.

It's been hard on me. I've had to adjust to things I knew were coming, and things I didn't see headed our way. I think the heat really takes its toll on me. It makes me angry and reclusive. Tony is always trying to say how well he thinks I've handled it. I don't think I've done well. I'm grateful that he tells me that he needs me here, otherwise I'm pretty sure I'd leave to go home. He thinks it's more hormones than anything because I really do get upset over very slight things. He may be right. He may be wrong too. I hate that I've become so temperamental.

I pray that it wasn't a mistake to come down here, but I'm needing help. Prayers and love would be very appreciated.


September 20th: Since the bad day. We have decided to buy a cheaper computer from Costco, which my mom will be bringing down, and Tony will use it until his is fixed and returned to the states. He has handled it really well and has accepted the lack of touchscreen. We're just happy the computer still turns on. It's funny how sensitive Tony's priorities are. Immediately after dropping the computer, he had been super scared/mad/upset/worried, but then the doctor entered and we listened to the baby's heartbeat and Tony's whole demeanor changed. He didn't care about the laptop. He was just happy to hear from our little girl.

No baby yet. Tomorrow will mark 38 weeks. Last night I did some pretty intense zumba in a not-so-well-ventilated room, but baby is still happy and I'm just a little sore.



Yesterday we had a crazy rain and thunderstorm that made our electricity go out for only a few minutes (thankfully! Some lost theirs for hours) but it also made the ceiling in our bedroom begin leaking! I can't imagine what it did to the neighbors upstairs' floor. They must have left their windows open or something. That wouldn't be a big deal except the storm was sending rain at an angle. The landlords were great though. I called when I noticed the large puddle forming on our bedroom floor and part of the bed, and he was over in 15 minutes- unheard of in Grenada! We've been very impressed by how attentive and responsible the landlords are.

This and That

Hey ya'll, sorry about not posting anything for 2 weeks... or more... I haven't ever really been good about writing regularly; just consult my teenage diary and you'll see two consecutive days, then the next entry would be two months later.

So things that have happened:

The White Coat Ceremony! Tony officially received his white coat and looked GOOD in it. I loved seeing him so happy.

My one completed project: baby origami mobile! It took me forever just because I couldn't find fishing line. I was also super indecisive about which origami pieces I wanted to use (I had made over 10 different ones) but the ones I chose are pretty cute I think. The flowers imitate the carambola flowers (starfruit) which grow all over the island.

House-wifery: level 10! I have been making pretty nice dinners, especially when all I could cook when we got married was mac and cheese, spaghetti, and fried donuts haha. These have been my most impressive recently, but I've done other dinners that are still really good: casseroles, chicken cordon bleus, pizza, chicken puffs, lasagna (thanks Tiff!), and chicken salad and barbecue chicken sandwiches. We've eaten out maybe 5 times since arriving here. Not to be conceited, but I find our home food much better. I definitely miss the fast food the US offers and the easiness of cheap frozen pizzas from Walmart, but I'll just have to become some type of cook till then. It was hard at first, trying to accept cooking full time with ingredients that cost just as much as eating out in the states, but I've accepted it. I think I needed this dive into a third world country to force me to learn how to cook. I know I wouldn't have done it in the states and even China had McDonalds' dollar menu. 

Coca-cola chicken wings. You won't believe this, but I actually broke and cut apart the wings myself! Two even had little feathers that I plucked off. Gross, and very amazonian, right?! But they tasted amazing!

Sesame chicken and sesame noodles! It tasted pretty asian- more so than some Chinese restaurants around here. :)

 Getting larger.... Week 36 (September 7th-13th) . This was my one goal: just make it to 36 weeks without going into labor because the private hospital will turn you down and force you to go to the general hospital if you are less than 36 weeks along. Something about too much liability. We hadn't heard very good things about the general, so I was just praying from the time we arrived till then that I would just make it to at least 36 weeks. Now I'm fine with her coming anytime she wants, although I do feel very large, and when she kicks/rubs against me you can visibly see it.... all alien style... I'd be okay if she doesn't wait for 40 weeks. Ha.

Reoccurring visitor: Tony has seen this little guy from time to time in the baby's room. One day he'll be there, then gone for two or three days. I didn't mind him as much when we were having insect problems. However, (GOOD NEWS!) I had told our landlords about seeing baby cockroaches in the bathtub whenever I would get up to pee in the middle of the night. They came by the next day and calked the seams of the bathtub and we haven't had one cockroach since!!!! I cannot tell you how happy and comforted this makes me. Anyway, now we have no need for this little guy, but we can't tell how he gets in. We've sealed all the questionable parts on the screen windows, but he still got in the other night (scaring the poop out of me because I just saw a flash of brown scurrying across the wall, making me think it was full-size cockroach). At least he stays around the same places so I kind of know where to expect him.


The Bear. He has been doing great! We gave him another hair cut the first of the month and Tony cut his ears without a clipper guard, making them shorter than we've ever gone. I think it makes him look like a terrier now, but he's still cute. Tony takes him on a 20 minute walk every morning (just down to the beach down the road) so that definitely helps satisfy Bear's energy levels. He's also become so good about coming into the ocean! When he wants to come out with us he'll walk in up to his chest and wait for us to pick him up. I think he'll eventually be able to swim in, but the waves scare him. This is a picture of his stellar chewing abilities. This was a piece of beach wood that I didn't want to use for the origami mobile and Bear said he'd love it. Back in Utah we could leave Bear out in the yard for hours and he would just chew up the fallen sticks in the yard. Well Tony gave him the stick (while I was sleeping) and I came out to find this. In case you can't tell, his tail is wagging because he knows I don't allow him to chew sticks in the house. Don't worry- Tony had to clean it up haha. Bear was delighted with this opportunity though. He was so happy the rest of the day.

Unifieds: This was Tony's first test in med school. Basically, he took a timed test (about 3 hours) where he was given 25 questions from each of the 3 subject that he is taking. The point is to allow the students to know if they are studying efficiently before their midterms coming up in October. Tony has been studying non-stop since school started so he did know his material. However, the weekend before the unifieds he didn't get to study anatomy as much as he had hoped. So he passed Histology and Biochem, but failed Anatomy. For what it's worth, we've only heard of one person who passed all three. Tony has since learned how to fix and has refined how he's studying for that class. He honestly feels like he's going to do well when midterms hit, although we would love all prayers sent this way. Midterms begin October 6th... the day after the baby's due date.... ha.