Mistake #2: As Tony and I were finally entering the air conditioned room, Tony dropped his computer. The screen shattered. It doesn't recognize touch anymore. It now has to be connected to the keyboard all the time. At least it turned on. The shattered glass would have completely fallen out had it not been for the screen protector.
The appointment went well. At 37 weeks I'm at 138 lbs now- I knew I had gained at least a pound over the past 2 weeks haha. Blood pressure low, the baby active with a heart rate between 130 and 145 which is perfectly healthy, and she hasn't quite engaged yet. Mistake #3: getting our hopes up that the baby would be coming soon. She's going to wait out all 40 weeks I feel. I have been feeling more hurting-type pains down there, but she's just biding her time. The other night I had become really excited because I actually woke up with pain. Yeah, not worth anything.
Once we returned home, we found Mistake #4: we didn't bring the Best Buy receipt with us to the island, thinking we can't even use it here. It's true, we can't but we could send the numbers in and see what they would suggest.
Mistake #5: The receipt is in an undisclosed box in Tony's parents' garage. If we need to find it, it probably won't happen for a while. This was entirely my fault. I knew I should have labeled where the receipts box was.
This has been a disheartening morning. I cried when I saw the damage that happened to Tony's computer. I thought it had been my fault but it was just an accident where his hand slipped. It breaks my heart knowing we prepared and saved for the perfect computer and it breaks within the first month of school. It had worked perfectly and Tony loved it. Now it's almost pointless that we even bought it. The worst part is he has been so so so so careful with it until today. He always took extra time to put it away, cover it, and protect it. The one time he didn't, it slipped. He blames himself. I blame Grenada. This stupid country is so bloody hot and nobody believes in air conditioning or fans. It's only Americans who use fans on themselves and we're the only ones who complain about no A/C. Tony was warm waiting in the stupid waiting room and figured he could just carry it to the room. Had there been even a fan going he may not have felt so rushed to make me more comfortable.
I worry it was a mistake coming down to this third world country. Tony believes it hasn't been a mistake. I know he's already learned so much, I just have become extremely bitter since the move. I feel bitter toward anyone who gets to experience the sweet, delightful changing of seasons. I feel bitter toward anyone living in the US. I feel bitter toward anyone who can afford to run their A/C every night. I feel bitter toward any country that has a Walmart or McDonalds. I feel bitter toward people that have made close friendships down here.
It's been hard on me. I've had to adjust to things I knew were coming, and things I didn't see headed our way. I think the heat really takes its toll on me. It makes me angry and reclusive. Tony is always trying to say how well he thinks I've handled it. I don't think I've done well. I'm grateful that he tells me that he needs me here, otherwise I'm pretty sure I'd leave to go home. He thinks it's more hormones than anything because I really do get upset over very slight things. He may be right. He may be wrong too. I hate that I've become so temperamental.
I pray that it wasn't a mistake to come down here, but I'm needing help. Prayers and love would be very appreciated.
September 20th: Since the bad day. We have decided to buy a cheaper computer from Costco, which my mom will be bringing down, and Tony will use it until his is fixed and returned to the states. He has handled it really well and has accepted the lack of touchscreen. We're just happy the computer still turns on. It's funny how sensitive Tony's priorities are. Immediately after dropping the computer, he had been super scared/mad/upset/worried, but then the doctor entered and we listened to the baby's heartbeat and Tony's whole demeanor changed. He didn't care about the laptop. He was just happy to hear from our little girl.
No baby yet. Tomorrow will mark 38 weeks. Last night I did some pretty intense zumba in a not-so-well-ventilated room, but baby is still happy and I'm just a little sore.
Yesterday we had a crazy rain and thunderstorm that made our electricity go out for only a few minutes (thankfully! Some lost theirs for hours) but it also made the ceiling in our bedroom begin leaking! I can't imagine what it did to the neighbors upstairs' floor. They must have left their windows open or something. That wouldn't be a big deal except the storm was sending rain at an angle. The landlords were great though. I called when I noticed the large puddle forming on our bedroom floor and part of the bed, and he was over in 15 minutes- unheard of in Grenada! We've been very impressed by how attentive and responsible the landlords are.
Hang in there, Cherish. It is true that our hormones go wild for the last few weeks of pregnancy, and for the first few weeks after the birth too... We are definitely praying for you both. We love you so much. :)
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