All I Want is an Auntie Anne's Pretzel with Cheese

It's true. All I want is a pretzel. Just an original pretzel (although I do love the bite-sized ones)  with an over-priced, 3 Tablespoon amount of cheese-whiz sauce. Why? I don't know. Maybe because it means it would have to come from a fast food chain. Maybe because it means I would have to hit up a mall to get one. Maybe it's because it's what my mom and I always buy when we go through a shopping quest together. Whatever the reason, I just want a stinkin' pretzel and I know I can't have one.

I think today is one of my emotionally, hormonally-driven days. I just miss home. Tony says I need an outlet to let my frustrations trickle out before it drives me insane and I just randomly leave the island one day. He has a valid point; I may or may not have debated it once or three times since moving down here.

We have a very good nice place in a safe neighborhood, with very little insect problems. I am grateful for that. Do I still miss home? Terribly so. I miss being able to text whomever I want whenever I want. I miss not fearing mosquitos- I killed 4 today- one of which was striped meaning it carried the dengue fever virus. I miss fast food. So much. And most of all I miss the thriftiness Walmart offers and how it carries everything you could ever dream of at normal prices. haha. Look at me, regarding Walmart as my dream shopping area. It wouldn't be so bad if we were only here for a few months. It's two years. It's like going on a mission where your purpose isn't really justified nor motivated. Well, that's for me at least. Tony has all the motivation, drive, and reason to be here. I've never seen him more dedicated to a purpose. But for me, I feel like it's just a little more than what I really want.

I haven't learned to love this island yet. So many of the SO's (significant others) talk about how they love it here.  And they've only been here 2 weeks! We've been here 6 weeks, and I haven't said I love it yet. The beaches are beautiful. The economy is tolerable. The stores are fine. The company is not my family nor friends. I'm trying though. My body is become more acclimated- I'm not overly hot all the time- just sometimes. I successfully made breakfast, lunch, and dinner for Tony every weekday last week, so that was a huge accomplishment for me.

I think I'm just having a hard time accepting the longevity of this lifestyle. I'm not used to living  like this for long periods of time. I've done two weeks visiting family friends in Costa Rica and Germany, 3 months in China, but never dedicating myself to a life where Pizza Huts and McDonalds do not exist.

It'll get better. I know it will. I've never been a person who dwells in the present. I've always been stuck in the what-ifs future and the memorable past. I need to learn how to just live in the here and now or else it will pass me by.